The alcohol dreams

Had one last night. The nightmares I call alcohol dreams. I’ve had them since the day I quit. I can be having a normal dream then I’m suddenly drinking. Its more than that though, I can taste it. I’ll wake up. Feel hungover with the taste of alcohol in my mouth.

Last night it was Carling…it was so vivid and the taste so strong. I didn’t even like lager.

Its as if Im fighting it in my asleep just as much as I’m awake.

Its always worse towards anniversary’s, (the years coming up). Im Always more aware of alcohol at this time.

Does anyone else get this… It can’t just be me.

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nearly a year in.

Today marks 11 months and 18 days since my last alcoholic drink. ( or 353 days). It been a very strange year…. Technically a new birthday, the birth of the new sober me, I’ve had some really good news that my family will help me get my first car! I have nly have to put 200 pound in which is good news.I passed my driving test 2 weeks ago,something I could not have done last year.

Its a very strange feeling being sober, I went to a party last night, drunk people scare me.I wouldn’t touch it ever again. The slurred words,falling over generally making a tit out of theirselves. Even though I know this, I still wanted that feeling, that drunk feeling,of when the music’s on dancing like no one cares ( I’ve found I can’t do that anymore).the mind is very strange, wanting what’s bad.

What made me upset the most though was not being able to try the new flavoured ciders they have brought out now, but that will never happen. I’ll just have to make to with pop and coffee.I have to. My sobriety isĀ the most important part of my life now.